Doctors began talking early and often about how much a brain injury would change who I am. They kept on saying how someone with a brain injury needs to find what’s called a “new normal.” It was obvious they felt this was important for me to understand moving forward. But I didn't believe any of it.
You see, from the very start of my recovery, my main goal was to go back to being my old normal, the old Jeff who myself and everybody else already knew. I wanted to be the same husband, father, son, brother, friend, and doctor I was before my brain injury. And because I grew up with the belief that anything’s possible with hard work, determination, and time, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind it would happen. But after many months of my very best efforts, I came to a disheartening and humbling realization - who I was before had left and wasn’t ever coming back.
It was after finally accepting this as my new reality that I did something I thought I'd never do. I just gave up! I gave up on trying to be the same person I was before. I gave up on trying to prove to others I really hadn’t changed much.
At first, I was very embarrassed and ashamed over what I’d just done. It wasn’t normal for me to just give up when things got tough. I felt like a failure because I hadn't accomplished what I’d set out to accomplish. But, in the end, I believe it was exactly what I needed to do. Because if I hadn’t given up on my old normal, I don’t think I would’ve ever started looking for my new one!
