I remember going swimming when I was a child and wanting, sometimes even demanding, that the person I was with at the pool would give me their immediate attention while I performed a few “tricks” for them. Maybe it was a new kind of dive, a different style of cannonball, an underwater flip, a handstand on the bottom of the pool, or maybe I wanted them to count how long I could hold my breath underwater.¹ Regardless of what they were doing at the time, I wanted them to watch what I was doing right then and there.
Back when I was a kid, this was probably kinda cute. But now that I’m a 40 something year-old guy and I’m still acting like this, I know that it no longer is. It’s borderline obnoxious. However, since my brain injury, that’s how I feel like I’ve been acting way too often!.
When I’m talking with someone and I think of something to say, I will often times interrupt them while they’re speaking so I can tell them right away. I try to justify this by claiming it’s something I "need" to do so I won't forget my thoughts - as if what I had to say was so much more important than what they were telling me or that I would never get another chance to tell them what I wanted to.
I started to realize how rude this was of me. I became aware of how disregarded and unimportant this can make other people feel. I recognized how selfish it was of me and how inconsiderate it was to the other person.
When I finally recognized this as a problem, or I guess it was when my wife gently and lovingly pointed out to me, I immediately decided that I needed to change. I had to get better. I wasn’t going to continue using my brain injury as an excuse for being an impolite, self-centered, and hoggish jerk.
I know that when it comes to this “need for your immediate attention” problem that I’m still far from perfect - but I really hope I’ve gotten better.
¹ When I was young, my older brother, J.T., had the amazing and uncanny ability to hold his breath underwater for what seemed to me like an eternity. I truly felt he was destined to become an admired and well-decorated Navy Seal. By the way, he became an accountant!